Pickles.
I'm craving pickles.
///
I drank all the juice in the pickle jar.
Am I going crazy?
I hear a lot of clicks, and I see a lot of flashes
But there are no cameras.
No one is here.
Is anyone ever anywhere?
////
Rimshots, ticka-ticka-tick
Like a time bomb
Coming from nowhere,
coming from my head-
Jesus Christ...
/////
Shh-
My fingers are shaky,
gnawed to the pink part
And bloody the corners
and blurry the lines
that separate myself from the pale, dusty scenery.
//////
I am fading, slowly grinding into what I was
regressing
addiction
Trying to slowly
exact
retract my heart from how deep it's stuck
Inside his
///////
I've been down this road before,
let myself get attached.
It's never a good time.
Our memories-
the accident,
our birthdays,
this summer.
They slip between the squiggles in my brain
and pour out of my mouth
into a sink full of sick
that I filled on my knees.
And down the drain they go,
rainbows disappearing,
And the only marks remaining
are bloody smears on the white porcelain.
////////
Everything is spinning really fast, and I don't think I can let myself exist anymore
I don't wanna be here
as in anywhere
I'm spiraling, my heart thundering away against my ribcage
I'm dizzy- I'm so dizzy
Hyperventilating
Muscle spasms
All I can see
Black with spots of white
/////////
Is this the last thing I want to see?
//////////
Running out of skin.
///////////
They don't even sting anymore...
////////////
One big one. Grit your teeth.
________________________
I always loved pickles.
